One of these days, I’ll have a very short list of newly registered trademarks for you, and I’ll be super happy about it. Because that will mean that most of the new marks are actual brands, and not ornamental phrases. Anyhoo, we have 745 fresh new trademarks in class 025 for the week, and a beefy 358 cancellations.
PART 1: NEW REGISTRATIONS
ANIMAL LOGIC – What exactly is animal logic? “When in doubt, pee on it or bite it”?
BANDANNA – Are you on team one-N or two-N at the end of “bandanna”?
BARTENDER MAFIA – Why do so many groups refer to themselves as a mafia?
BE KIND BE FEARLESS BE GRATEFUL
BE MO KIND
BE RECOGNIZED – We’re now up to 46 marks demanding that you BE something.
BUSY BEING PRETTY – Seems like one could multitask here, and do other things while being pretty.
CABEZA CORAZON PELOTAS – Translates to “head heart balls.” They clearly didn’t use any of those when making their specimen. (see below)
DARE TO IMAGINE
DROPSY – Now there’s an ailment I haven’t heard of in decades!
F IT UP! – Yes! F is what one should do, and the direction of the F-ing shall be up!
FLEXING MY FAITH
GOOD DOG MANNERS – When you resist animal logic, and don’t pee or bite.
GREEK STATE OF MIND
HIGH CLASS WHITE TRASH – Ugh, I don’t care for proudly proclaiming to be a negative stereotype.
HUSTLE YOUR HUSTLE – Double ugh, it’s like Inception for the hustle culture bullshit.
I PUT A BRA ON FOR THIS? – I kind of love that their utterly ornamental specimen has a guy wearing this on a shirt.
IT’S A G THANG
LET’S FACE IT, YOU’RE A BADASS! – It’s true, you are. FACE FACTS, FRIEND!!
LIVE LAUGH LURK – Nothing creepy about that.
MELANINWAIFU – I feel like I only see “waifu” in connection with incels. I’m also probably way too Extremely Online. Note: spell check does not like both “waifu” and “incel”.
MILES MORALES – But you weren’t using this anyway, right?
NOT ON MY BLOCK
PAUSE. PROCESS. PROCEED.
PETER PARKER – But again, you weren’t using this anyway. RIGHT??
POSITIVELY POSITIVE – Methinks you’re protesting too much here.
RED WINE & BLUE – Goes nicely right near RED WHITE & BREW.
SAPPHIC COWBOY – Not sure why this isn’t “cowgirl”. Can boys be sapphic?
SEE WHAT HE SEES – They stylized the HE in uppercase, so I’m guessing it’s a god-ish thing?
SHE HAS ALL THE AUDACITY – [insert Arrested Development “good for her” GIF]
SORRY I’M LATE I SAW A DOG – An early contender for 2023’s Worst Specimen of the Year! (see below)
UNIQUE SINCE DAY ONE
WE ARE PICKLEBALL – Still amazed at the sudden popularity of this dorky ’70s game.
YOUTHFUL SOULS – My soul feels youthful, but my back disagrees.
PART 1-B: OLDER REGISTERED MARKS I DISCOVERED THIS WEEK
PART 2: CANCELLED MARKS
(Standard disclaimer: Always double-check these words and phrases before using them in your designs, to make sure there isn’t a separate registration that is still live and active. Some marks have multiple registrations!)
AIN’T NO MAMA LIKE THE ONE I GOT * [removed from spreadsheet with much rejoicing]
BEASTETTE 4 LIFE
BOARD 2 DEATH
DEFEND OUR TURF
EVERYDAY IN EVERYWAY…BETTER AND BETTER.
FEEL THE POWER
FISH N PEACE
HIGH N HAPPY
I LOVE YOU ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN AND BACK
IT’S NOT HOW YOU WIN JUST AS LONG AS YOU WIN
MADE IN VOYAGE
MONEY IS KING
MY WORDS ARE POWERFUL
NEED PRAYER? * [removed from spreadsheet]
NEW PORK CITY
NOT A SCOTTIE
PREPARE TO STAND OUT
READ LOVE GIVE
RED, WHITE, AND BRUTE
REDHEADS ARE BRIGHTER
RUN NOW WINE LATER * [removed from spreadsheet]
START THINKING WHEN DRINKING
WOLF [Partial: IC 025 cancelled; IC 028 remains active]
PART 3: ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE SPECIMENS
One of the specimens for CABEZA CORAZON PELOTAS. Maybe next time, cut the fake hang-tag out with a straight-edge! And punch the hole with a clean hole punch! And don’t string your hang-tag through the garment’s actual tag with a different brand name on it! And maybe use a new shirt, not one that looks like it’s been washed 100 times!
One of the specimens for SORRY I’M LATE I SAW A DOG. Because everyone’s lining up to order a plain blue shirt that looks like it’s been wadded up in a corner for a month.
Note: This is a curated list, and may not include all marks that affect you or your business. All opinions expressed in the snark are my own.
As always, the new marks have been added to my ginormous spreadsheet; please check it out for a shockingly large list of registered trademarks!