Note: The marks in part 1 are now fully registered and active! This list is compiled from the USPTO Trademark Search system. Some of these are legitimate brand names! I’ve included them on this list because those brand names are also words or phrases that may be used on the goods in question by crafters and makers.
PART 1: NEW REGISTRATIONS
[Go straight to your preferred class: 004, 009, 014, 016, 021, 025, 028]
Everybody’s Favorite Class, 025: Clothing
Includes: shirts, sweatshirts, baby bodysuits, cloth bibs, undergarments, aprons, shoes & socks, and so much more.
| 90794894 | ACQUITTED | My “acquitted” shirt has people asking questions already answered by the shirt. |
| 99369635 | ALWAYS FRIDAY | Ah, but if every day were Friday, we wouldn’t appreciate Friday as much. |
| 98965743 | BACK TO THE FUTURE | But you weren’t using this anyway, RIGHT? |
| 98146910 | BEACH SLOTH | I’m not a huge fan of the beach. [Insert Anakin’s speech about sand] |
| 99577730 | BEAGLES | You can, of course, still use this common dog breed name. |
| 98784684 | BECAAAUUUSSSE | You can, of course, still use the common word “because”. |
| 98715433 | CALM DOWN | Never in the history of calm down has “calm down” calmed anyone down. |
| 99496598 | CASH AND CARRY | |
| 98711181 | DAMN I LOVE AMERICA | I … can’t quite say this, in these troubling times. |
| 99055766 | DAYCARE | You can, of course, still use this common word in a phrase. |
| 98849822 | EAT A FUCKING CARB | At first I misread this as “crab” … either way, yes! |
| 97355990 | EAT YOUR GREENS | Except right now, I’d avoid the lettuce. |
| 99063761 | EVERYTHING GOOD | [supplemental] |
| 98850122 | FAHRVERGNUGEN | Owner is some guy in Virginia, not Volkswagen. |
| 99390051 | GET YOUR ASS OUT THE WHITE HOUSE | Yes. |
| 98870533 | GIRLS LIKE HORROR | They’re “shattering myths,” but whenever I hear about horror movies, it’s always women talking about them! |
| 98941394 | GO ASK YOUR MOTHERS | It’s a podcast. Good for them for keeping under 30 minutes. |
| 99182655 | HOT MESS TO HOT MOM | I bet she’s still a hot mess, tho. |
| 98564128 | HUGGABLE | I would never, ever, EVER wear this shirt. Huggers, ugh! |
| 99500428 | I AM BIRD | This and the next are mobile phone games… |
| 99500388 | I AM MONKEY | …where reviews say you are “bombarded by ads”. |
| 98813799 | I DIDN’T COME TO BUNT | I came to totally whiff. |
| 99562587 | I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR SWING TIPS | [supplemental] A middle-aged leisure golfer would absolutely ignore this shirt on a women of any age. Even if she’s a pro golfer. |
| 98707176 | I LOVE MY JESUS I GIVE HIM HUGS & SQUEEZES | Are they meaning to rhyme “Jesus” with “squeezes” here? |
| 98029687 | KEEP IT POSITIVE SWEETIE | Ugh, please don’t call people “sweetie,” it feels so patronizing. (Though at least they didn’t spell it “sweaty” like some do.) |
| 99061075 | LOVER OF THE GAME | Specimens have basketballs and gridiron footballs, so I guess it’s not a specific game. |
| 98719483 | MAKE AMERICA BOOM AGAIN | OK, boomer. |
| 99383348 | MEW | Unrelated to Pokémon, this is a memecoin thing. |
| 99563197 | OF COURSE IT’S GOOD I MADE IT | That’s right, have pride in the things you make! |
| 98256198 | P.S. LOVE GOD | |
| 99210712 | PAW LIFE | Describes our house — we live in service to our cats. |
| 97484918 | POLITE SOCIETY | Oh, if only we could have such a thing! |
| 97809918 | READ, BREATHE & RELEASE | It doesn’t have the catchiness of “live laugh love,” but it’s OK. |
| 97447242 | SHINE ON | |
| 98488611 | SHITTY FRIENDS | Apparently, rodeo folks in eastern Washington are … shitty friends? |
| 98424321 | SO RUDE | Yep, don’t mind if I am! |
| 99583715 | SUNDAY WAFFLES | As opposed to ALWAYS FRIDAY, every day is a good day for sunday waffles. |
| 99449697 | SWORN TO PROTECT | Nothing like putting David into tactical gear. |
| 98901085 | VALUE YOUR LIGHT | Talking about “my light” feels so froo-froo woo-woo. |
| 99393747 | WINNERS NEVER QUIT | I mean, I bet even winners know when it’s prudent to quit. |
Class 004: Fuels, Oils, and Illuminants
Includes: candles, tea lights, wax melts, potpourri wax, personal lubricants, and lots of types of fuels and oils.
| 99336474 | BANG BUTTER |
| 99584226 | BIRDBATH |
| 98307120 | IN GOOD ENERGY |
| 99303346 | MACHO |
| 79431398 | NO COMMENT |
| 99022235 | SURE SHOT |
| 79431400 | TO BE CONFIRMED |
| 98816128 | WECANDLE |
| 99575943 | WHERE STILLNESS LIVES |
Class 009: Electrical Apparatus & Digital Products
Includes: digital designs, downloadable images, computer fonts, media players, phone cases, fridge magnets, and a whole lot more.
[Filtered to results that include the words graphic, design, image, font, magnet, or phone cases in the list of goods.]
| 98309065 | BLACK DIAMOND |
| 99435390 | LIFE UNLOCKED |
| 99352690 | MEMORY MAGNETS CO |
| 79403307 | OFF THE DECK |
| 99369757 | PARTYBOI |
| 98075436 | SMARTCUSTOMER |
Class 014: Jewelry
Includes: jewelry (rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, etc.), key chains, clocks and watches (except smartwatches), cuff links, jewelry boxes, and more.
| 98804961 | ACHIEVE IMPOSSIBLE |
| 97777311 | DIAMOND MEMORIES |
| 99466626 | GOLD CLUB |
| 98029687 | KEEP IT POSITIVE SWEETIE |
| 97428550 | LIL BOSS DOLL |
| 98894327 | ROMANCE WITH A SECRET |
| 99552778 | SHARED STARS |
| 98642162 | SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND |
| 99047628 | SHINE WITH PURPOSE |
| 99585861 | SPIKY |
| 99580423 | STARRY NIGHT |
| 98641558 | THE FUTURE IS NOW |
Class 016: Paper Goods & Printed Matter
Includes: greeting cards, pens, books, planners, journals, envelopes, decals and stickers, bags for packaging, gift wrap, art supplies, and more.
| 98146910 | BEACH SLOTH |
| 98309065 | BLACK DIAMOND |
| 98686743 | BRAIN BUDS |
| 99674723 | C IS FOR CTHULHU |
| 98606481 | CHRISTMASLAND |
| 99396581 | DON’T TALK TO ME, I’M COLORING |
| 99622634 | EPOXY PRO KIT [supplemental] |
| 98870533 | GIRLS LIKE HORROR |
| 98933731 | INTERNATIONAL ELECTRICAL CODE |
| 98029687 | KEEP IT POSITIVE SWEETIE |
| 99565733 | MAIL BUDZ |
| 99414708 | MAYOR’S DESK |
| 99022919 | MEDITATE LIKE A GODDESS |
| 99441662 | MOON CHEESE |
| 98895217 | OWN YOUR LANE |
| 99210712 | PAW LIFE |
| 99024308 | PLAN AND PROSE [supplemental] |
| 99577854 | PROUDGIRL |
| 97809918 | READ, BREATHE & RELEASE |
| 99551944 | ROCK BUDDIES |
| 99500719 | STEP |
| 99622527 | SUPER GLUE PRO KIT [supplemental] |
| 99583379 | WRITE THIS WAY |
| 98916010 | YEARS ALIVE |
| 99579542 | YOU ARE MY ROCK |
Class 021: Housewares & Glass
Includes: drinking glasses, cups, mugs, insulated flasks, tumblers, cookware, pots & pans, cutting boards, oven mitts, and more.
| 98488490 | ABOVE THE SUN |
| 98146910 | BEACH SLOTH |
| 99586770 | BREEZE SIP |
| 98728207 | BRIGHT CRYSTAL |
| 98314849 | CAMP COZY |
| 99575116 | CULT MUGS |
| 99392912 | DRINK PLANTS BABE |
| 99279804 | FUN HAS NO OFF SEASON |
| 97695677 | HAND STRAP |
| 99565885 | HUMIDIFIER – Goods are just drinking glasses. |
| 99053469 | HYDRA STEEL DRINKWARE |
| 98029687 | KEEP IT POSITIVE SWEETIE |
| 99595322 | LANDLORD APPROVED |
| 99202106 | LIQUID ELEMENTS |
| 99061075 | LOVER OF THE GAME |
| 97814013 | MAKE BANK |
| 99238025 | MODERN AMERICAN VINTAGE |
| 97777330 | NO FILTER NEEDED |
| 99466219 | PUP DIVA |
| 97809918 | READ, BREATHE & RELEASE |
| 99581860 | SMASH N GRAB |
| 99581583 | STAY DANGEROUS |
| 98909909 | STEP UP YOUR WINE GAME |
| 99583715 | SUNDAY WAFFLES |
| 99341057 | THE CHILLR |
| 98953410 | TRANQUIL GARDEN |
| 98978395 | WELLSPRING |
Class 028: Toys & Games
Includes: toys, games, dolls & plush, party hats, pet toys, sports equipment, Christmas tree decorations, and more.
[Filtered to results that include the words Christmas, toy, plush, doll, puzzle, party, balloon, garland, bath, dough, or ornament in the list of goods.]
| 99213103 | DADCARVED |
| 98919971 | EMOTIONAL POSITIVE |
| 99158251 | HAUNTED TOSS |
| 99500428 | I AM BIRD |
| 99500350 | I AM CLEANER |
| 99500388 | I AM MONKEY |
| 99313920 | LET THAT SHIT GO |
| 99065361 | LOCKED-IN |
| 98917069 | MAGIC EVERY SEASON |
| 99209494 | MAGICDEALER |
| 99125874 | MAJESTIC PALS |
| 99572549 | MUSHROOM BEAR |
| 99585550 | OH LOOK…IT’S ON FIRE – Goods include Christmas tree decorations. (??!?!?!) |
| 99096977 | PLAY IT FORWARD |
| 98908431 | POSITIVE AVOCADO |
| 99588223 | POSITIVE FIRE |
| 99146448 | POSITIVE LLAMA |
| 98947173 | POSITIVE PUG |
| 99266591 | SQUISHYBALL [supplemental] |
| 98826299 | WE MAKE PUZZLES. YOU MAKE MEMORIES. |
PART 2: CANCELLED MARKS IN CLASS 025
(Standard disclaimer: Always double-check these words and phrases before using them in your designs, to make sure there isn’t a separate registration that is still live and active. Some marks have multiple registrations!)
| 78550999 | AGAINST THE GRAIN |
| 86656134 | ALWAYS BE |
| 88494255 | ART OVER WAR |
| 88262353 | BASIC BITCH |
| 75063344 | BEAR |
| 78976514 | BEER GEEK |
| 88487278 | BOLDLY PROCLAIM YOUR PRIDE |
| 86648459 | BOOBALICIOUS |
| 76305681 | CROWN OF HEARTS |
| 88034685 | DOUBLE DRIBBLE |
| 87140798 | FOR BULLDOGS USE ONLY |
| 88008663 | FREE MY BABY DADDIE |
| 88487939 | GNOME GROWN *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 87206144 | I AM GENIUS IN MOTION |
| 86841979 | IS NOT ENOUGH |
| 88586313 | JESUS GIRL |
| 87042258 | LITTLE GALS RULE |
| 87025332 | LITTLE GUYS RULE |
| 87096667 | LITTLE KIDS RULE |
| 88472380 | LOOK AT SHE |
| 88506253 | LOOKIN’ FOR A FIGHT |
| 97646577 | MAGA RATS *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 88306742 | MAKE AMERICA UNIFIED AGAIN |
| 88306629 | MAKE AMERICA UNITED AGAIN |
| 88047916 | MAKE MY GOLF GAME GREAT AGAIN *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 86574160 | MERMAID LIFE *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 88129140 | OH OK… |
| 87837365 | ON CABO TIME |
| 88486789 | PEACE OF MINE |
| 88195631 | PEACE, LOVE, BACON & MORE BACON |
| 87607414 | PROUD *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 88448377 | RAISE THE DEAD |
| 87858127 | SALT NECK |
| 88502103 | THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING EVIL |
| 88199210 | WEAR WHAT YOU BELIEVE |
| 88949302 | WICKED COOL |
| 88414561 | YOUNG CEO |
[sic] = A spelling, spacing, grammar, or punctuation error is part of the mark, not a typo from my butterfingers.
[removed from spreadsheet] = The cancelled item was on my spreadsheet of marks, and has now been removed.
Note: This is a curated list, and may not include all marks that affect you or your business. All opinions expressed in the snark are my own. All snark is intended for entertainment purposes.
As always, the new marks have been added to my ginormous spreadsheet; please check it out for a shockingly large list of registered trademarks!
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