Numbers for the week in class 025: This week, there were 699 freshly registered text trademarks (427 of which—61%—have owners in China!); 30 fully cancelled text marks; and 206 applications were abandoned before reaching the finish line.
Note: The marks in part 1 are now fully registered and active! This list is compiled from the USPTO Trademark Search system. Some of these are legitimate brand names! I’ve included them on this list because those brand names are also words or phrases that may be used on the goods in question by crafters and makers.
PART 1: NEW REGISTRATIONS (PRINCIPAL REGISTER)
| 98055521 | AIR SUPPLY | But you weren’t using this band name anyway, right? |
| 98648970 | ALWAYS FULFILLED NEVER SATISFIED | 🎶 You strike me as a woman who has never been satisfied. 🎶 |
| 98927530 | BRAVE PERSON | |
| 97980487 | BREATHE IN GOD | Is God a vapor? Is the holy trinity actually solid/liquid/gas? |
| 90604034 | BUILT FOR THE STORM | Appears to be the slogan for a craft beer company. |
| 98627513 | DAD BODS AND THICK RODS | They’re talking about fishing poles, not their ding-dongs. |
| 98267643 | EXTRA DIRTY EXTRA OLIVES | I love pickles, but I hate olives. |
| 98589100 | FIT MOM ENERGY | We’ve strayed so far from “big dick energy” that the plays on that phrase don’t make sense anymore. |
| 98080377 | GODMOTHERS | It’s a bookstore/cafe/meeting place in California. |
| 98933541 | GREEN FAIRY | I don’t think this is associated with absinthe? Their website is dead, so I’m not sure. |
| 98771691 | HOMAGE | |
| 88631290 | HOT GIRL SEMESTER | Eventually, every period of time will belong to hot girls. |
| 88631275 | HOT GIRL SUMMER | Like, is Hot Girl Pleistocene going to be the new thing? |
| 97921808 | I AM EVERYTHING | Like a bagel. 🎶 “Sucked … intoooo … a bagel…” 🎶 |
| 97805606 | JESUS ANSWERS PRAYERS | |
| 90399148 | LEAVE IT BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT | Looks like this is a slogan of Parks Project. |
| 97936383 | MUSICIANS DON’T RETIRE, THEY DIE! | I don’t understand this. Is it an inside musician joke? |
| 90454778 | PEACE HARMONY JOY | |
| 97904173 | PICKLEBALL EVERY DAMN DAY | The pickleball geeks are overtaking the golf dorks and the fishing nerds with their phrase-based merch! |
| 98026909 | PRAY MORE THAN YOU SAY | |
| 98909406 | SMOKEY BEAR | I love the huge owner name: “The United States of America as Represented by the Secretary of Agriculture”. |
| 98390857 | THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT | Taylor Swift, of course. |
| 98329265 | THIS OLD DOG LEARNS NEW TRICKS | Yay for trick-learning old dogs! I just started a language course yesterday. I’ll never stop learning! |
| 98918100 | TRUTH OR DARE | For when you’re in the market for a “milkmaid dress“. |
| 98026844 | UNCOMPLICATED FAITH | If there’s one thing you can say about faith, it’s hella complicated. |
| 98941527 | WAR BABY | Owner is some guy in California. Doesn’t appear to be related to the Netherlands clothing company. |
| 98929101 | WHY YOU SO CUTE? | |
| 98594827 | WING SNOB | A chain restaurant. I kind of hate the combo of fonts in their logo. |
| 88860612 | YOUR POSITION IS NOT YOUR POTENTIAL | Oh, COME ON with these specimens submitted after publication. This one is AWFUL!! |
And as a bonus, here are a bunch from the same owner, Ghost Global LLC. This brings them up to 34 registered trademarks, with another nearly 200 applications working their way through the process. At the time of writing, they have a whopping 6 products at their website, all with the same text-on-a-white-shirt style and shocking $50 price tag.
| 98331031 | ALONE BUT NEVER LONELY | We’ll open with a phrase that somewhat makes sense. |
| 98394858 | DISCIPLINE THROUGH SACRIFICE & SACRIFICE THROUGH DISCIPLINE | And then we’ll take a turn. This FEELS like it should make sense, but it’s just reversing the words. |
| 98407647 | FRIENDS ARE FOR LOSERS | Sounds like the problem is YOU, my dude. |
| 98407661 | FRIENDS ARE FOR LOSERS. I ONLY HAVE FAMILY. | Why stretch Arial so that it looks all wonky, when there are plenty of tall and narrow sans-serifs out there? |
| 98364699 | I NEVER GET TIRED OF NOT BEING YOU | At least these folks didn’t stretch the font on this one. |
| 98364663 | IF I HAD TO TRY I WOULDN’T BE ME & IF I HAD TO WORRY I’D BE YOU | In the shirt specimens for all of these, there’s a fake hang tag stuck to a broken rubber band. No expense spared! |
| 98331061 | IS IT WEIRD TO BE GOOD AT SCIENCE BUT BAD AT MATH? | Not at all, they’re quite different disciplines. But your specimen t-shirt for $50? THAT’S bad math. |
| 98364779 | KEEP THE STUPID SIMPLE & THE SIMPLE STUPID | 🎶 Your sentences border on senseless. 🎶 |
| 98331033 | POOR MEN ARE BROKE, RICH MEN ARE BROKEN | You can be poor but not broke. You can also be rich and not broken. And what about the comfortable men that are comfortable? Unrepresented! |
| 98364736 | TOO MUCH TOO FAST & TOO LITTLE TOO LATE | What could this even be describing? |
PART 1-B: NEW REGISTRATIONS (SUPPLEMENTAL REGISTER)
| 98868390 | APPAREL FACTORY | Damn straight, it’s too vague for the Principal Register. |
PART 1-C: INTERESTING ILLUSTRATED MARK(S) OF THE WEEK
Today’s two examples show how important it is to check the Mark Drawing Code on a trademark. At first glance, these marks of HOMAGE and H(OM)E both look like plain text marks. BUT! Only one of them—HOMAGE—is actually a type 4 text mark! The H(OM)E mark is actually a type 5 mark: stylized text, so it only protects the word in Times New Roman (or any similarly confusing serif font). Since almost all of the drawings of plain text marks are also in Times New Roman, it blends in.
If you visit the owner’s website, you can see that she’s using the text H(OM)E in her banner, but it’s in a script font, and she’s incorrectly included the ® symbol with that script. Technically, she only has the word registered if it appears in Times New Roman!
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PART 2: CANCELLED MARKS
(Standard disclaimer: Always double-check these words and phrases before using them in your designs, to make sure there isn’t a separate registration that is still live and active. Some marks have multiple registrations!)
| 97908088 | DEAD BOYS *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 90867678 | LET’S GO OUTSIDE *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 78237493 | REAL CHAMPIONS WEAR ORANGE |
| 78019572 | RICHBOSS |
| 98156575 | TIMBER! *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 74487437 | YOU SAY |
PART 3: ABANDONED APPLICATIONS! 🎉
Here are the applications that were abandoned this week in class 025, with mark drawing code 4. The most likely cause was the applicant not submitting corrected, updated, or informative material by the USPTO’s deadline. Ding, dong, these witches are dead! 🪦
| 98193974 | 6236 |
| 97209516 | ADD A LITTLE ADVENTURE TO YOUR LIFE |
| 98158726 | AIM LOW! |
| 98406873 | BE HAPPY TODAY |
| 98142878 | BEDGIRL |
| 98786913 | BORN SALTY |
| 98529135 | BRAIN DANK |
| 98168898 | BREATHE AND DRINK WATER |
| 98521737 | DON’T FIRST WORLD PROBLEM OUR THIRD WORLD PARADISE |
| 98459147 | EMBRACE YOUR SASSY |
| 98495085 | F.A.I.T.H. (FORSAKING ALL I’LL TRUST HIM) |
| 98531308 | FUCKERBERG |
| 98483905 | GENTRIFIED THE HUSTLE |
| 98479435 | GOD IS MY INNER CIRCLE |
| 98292220 | GOD’S PERFECTION |
| 98821957 | HAVE A GOAT DAY! |
| 98162277 | HOOD NINJA |
| 97370412 | HOPE YOU GET RICH |
| 98685605 | I’M A RAIDER THO |
| 98479148 | IN AMERICANS WE TRUST |
| 98530108 | IN WINE WE LUST |
| 98529324 | IT’S ATLANTA BABY! |
| 99057854 | JUST TASTE IT |
| 97781296 | LEGENDARY DUFFER |
| 97781290 | LET’S GO! |
| 98454977 | NO SALT |
| 98524949 | NO WALLS NO CEILING |
| 98162014 | PRETTY MOMS MEDITATE |
| 98473227 | PUSSY’S UNDEFEATED |
| 97515994 | RAISING AWEARNESS |
| 98422588 | RED WAVE |
| 98167604 | SAUCE GOT SAUCE |
| 98128887 | SLFMADE |
| 97767645 | SPIRITUAL HEATHEN |
| 98521356 | SUBURBAN TROUBLEMAKER |
| 98484975 | THEY DIDN’T LOCK ME UP, THEY WOKE ME UP |
| 99099835 | VIBE CODING IS MY LOVE LANGUAGE |
| 98532252 | WHITE COLLAR REJECTS |
| 98517443 | WOKUS POTUS |
| 98481446 | YOU WILL NEVER GET YOUR SPIRITUAL WEIGHT UP IF YOU ONLY WORKOUT ON SUNDAYS |
[sic] = A spelling, spacing, grammar, or punctuation error is part of the mark, not a typo from my butterfingers.
[removed from spreadsheet] = The cancelled item had been on my spreadsheet of marks, and has now been removed.
Note: This is a curated list, and may not include all marks that affect you or your business. All opinions expressed in the snark are my own. All snark is intended for entertainment purposes.
As always, the new marks have been added to my ginormous spreadsheet; please check it out for a shockingly large list of registered trademarks!
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