It was an oddly weak week for trademarks. Though there were 663 new registered marks and 408 cancellations in class 025, the curated lists are short-ish. And only 7 applications total were abandoned this week!

Note: The marks in part 1 are now fully registered and active! These lists are compiled from the Trademark Official Gazette, which publishes lists of the newest registered marks every week. (Some of these are legitimate brand names! I’ve included them on this list because those brand names are also words or phrases that may be used on the goods in question by crafters and makers.)

PART 1: NEW REGISTRATIONS (PRINCIPAL REGISTER)

1910 – Goes between 1908 and 1911 on the spreadsheet. At least 1909 is still available!
365 – Goods: footwear.
ACT NORMAL – For some of us, this is nigh impossible.
BE THE GOOD
BLUE COLLAR BOUGIE – I still don’t get “bougie” — seems like a bad thing? But yet people refer to themselves as “bougie/boujee” with pride?
EVERY DAY IS CIGAR DAY – Alternate opinion: no day should ever be cigar day. 🤢
EVERY STROKE COUNTS – Oh hooray, a golf and sex joke!
GOD’S LOVING GRACE – Good for Grace, she’s a lucky woman.
GRINNIN’ LIKE I’M SINNIN’
HEAL THE MASSES
I DON’T NEED A BRAND – And yet you registered this as your trademark?
I DON’T NEED A BRAND I NEED GOD – And you liked it so much you registered it twice?
MAKE AMERICA BLOOM AGAIN – Just wait! Things bloom there every spring!
MAN I LOVE FELINES – This sucks for everyone using this “MILF” joke.
MILF MAN I LOVE FELINES – And they got it both with and without the acronym.
OUT OF PLACE
PICKLELICIOUS – Pickleball words/phrases are starting to outnumber the crappy golf and fishing puns!
PLANT SLUT – I wouldn’t call myself this, but I do have a mini kumquat tree on my windowsill.
PROCREATE – Owned by Savage Interactive, makers of the iOS art program.
PURE DINK – Even more pickleball.
PURE DOPAMINE – Different owner, different pure substance.
RUN YOUR BUSINESS LIKE A BOSS – As opposed to … ?
TIME TO BREATHE
TODAY TODAY TODAY – Phil Collins’ lesser-known song. 😆
ZERO TO 100

PART 1-B: NEW REGISTRATIONS (SUPPLEMENTAL REGISTER)

COMFORT STRETCH

PART 1-C: OLDER REGISTERED MARKS I DISCOVERED THIS WEEK

I didn’t spot any this week, huzzah!

PART 1-D: MY FAVORITE ILLUSTRATED MARK OF THE WEEK

I don’t know if this is “favorite” as much as “most puzzling.” Here’s the drawing for this GLOSIW mark. The description clearly states what this is supposed to be. I don’t see it! At all! So take a moment, look at this thingy, and make your guess as to what it’s supposed to be. Then scroll down to the bottom of the post for the answer!

PART 2: CANCELLED MARKS

(Standard disclaimer: Always double-check these words and phrases before using them in your designs, to make sure there isn’t a separate registration that is still live and active. Some marks have multiple registrations!)

“WHAT THE WHAAAT?”
AREA LOCAL
AVARICE
CROOKED BEACHES
DEAL CLOSERS ONLY
EAST END BOI – Great, now I have “West End Girls” stuck in my head.
FIRST AMERICAN BABY
GENDER X
GRANDMAZILLA
HARD WORK & DEDICATION
I CAN FIX
IT TAKES LIVES TO SAVE LIVES
LIGHT ANOTHER
LIPSTICK
LITTLE BLACK SOCK
LOVE THE HUSTLE
MARINE COWGIRL
MASSIVE
NASTY MOTHER
NEON WITCH
PARENT ON THE RUN
PRAY PALS
REEL HEROES
SMALL SHELL
SOUTHERN HUSTLE
TOO STRONG
TOOLOUD
WHY SO SERIOUS

PART 3: ABANDONED APPLICATIONS! 🎉

Here are the applications that were abandoned this week in class 025, with mark drawing code 4. The most likely cause was the applicant not submitting corrected, updated, or informative material by the USPTO’s deadline. Ding, dong, these witches are dead! 🪦

[sic] = The mark contains a spelling, spacing, grammar, or punctuation error which does not appear to be wordplay. The error is left as-is.
[removed from spreadsheet] = The cancelled item had been on my spreadsheet of marks, and has now been removed.

Note: This is a curated list, and may not include all marks that affect you or your business. All opinions expressed in the snark are my own. All snark is intended for entertainment purposes.

As always, the new marks have been added to my ginormous spreadsheet; please check it out for a shockingly large list of registered trademarks!

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* Answer: The GLOSIW illustration is “a design of a swan.” My guesses were a wave (the black shape), and an ovary and fallopian tube (the white negative space). Never would have guessed a swan! Even knowing what they’re claiming, I still can’t see it. Is the lumpy part supposed to be the head? Also, they earn demerits for using the Impact font, one of the most overused fonts in the woooooorrrrrld.