Numbers for the week in class 025: This week, there were 551 freshly registered text trademarks; 263 fully cancelled text marks; and 14 applications were abandoned before reaching the finish line.
Note: The marks in part 1 are now fully registered and active! This list is compiled from the USPTO Trademark Search system. Some of these are legitimate brand names! I’ve included them on this list because those brand names are also words or phrases that may be used on the goods in question by crafters and makers.
PART 1: NEW REGISTRATIONS (PRINCIPAL REGISTER)
| 99420824 | 798 | Yes, eventually every number will be a registered trademark. |
| 99327682 | ALL MY FRIENDS ARE ANIMALS | I mean … humans are also animals, so yeah. |
| 98683427 | BABY SHOWER HERO | Sometimes, your successful specimen is a screenshot from the Wayback Machine. |
| 98914567 | BALL IS LIFE | Why do “ball” and “baller” almost always refer to basketball? |
| 99434335 | BAYOU COWGIRL | Saddling up and riding the alligators? |
| 99293868 | BE PETTY MAKE MONEY | I’m very good at the first half of this. |
| 99443016 | BLOOD CLUB | A post-punk band. They are … not my thing. [Bandcamp link] |
| 99494883 | BUILDING WEALTH IS A CHOICE | Laughing until I wheeze at this one. Because for most people, it’s so very much NOT a option. |
| 98357002 | CHRIST DRIVEN | Some excellent quality specimens [/sarcasm]. Looks like a $120 t-shirt. |
| 98664117 | CROOKED CHRISTIAN | Feels like the USA government is chock full of them. |
| 99105557 | FUGLY | Not what I’d choose to wear on a shirt, but you do you. |
| 99407656 | HAPPY MIND | |
| 99433716 | HEROIN CHIC | Wasn’t this the name of a whole style and look in the ’90s? Now it’s just text on a t-shirt. |
| 98175537 | HOLD MY CHOCOLATE MILK | I’m guessing this is the child version of “hold my beer”? |
| 98463464 | HUMPTY DUMPTY | Goods include Halloween costumes. (Not that you were probably planning on going as this, but…) |
| 99036348 | I’D RATHER BE CHASING | Feels like an incomplete phrase, but I guess it’s something golf-related? |
| 97778940 | KINGPIN | Goods are clothing and … pinball machines. |
| 98383118 | LA VIE IS BEAUTIFUL | |
| 99028787 | LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC | Every time I see something like this, I cringe. So much stuff that used to be neutral is being co-opted by people who would love to oppress over half of the people in the USA. |
| 98978027 | MAKE AMERICA HEALTHY AGAIN | Specimens are from the US Dept. of Health and Human Services, but the owner is “MAHA TM LLC” in Arizona. |
| 99440997 | MAKE MUSIC REAL AGAIN | Appears to be the title of an album by “Vegas Meg”. I can’t access her site from outside of the USA, so no idea how real her music is. |
| 99303869 | NUGGETS | Denver basketball, not breaded chicken chunks. |
| 98665438 | OBSESSIVE CROISSANT DISORDER | Once again, can we please stop making fun of serious illnesses and disorders? |
| 98570255 | PADEL BRAT | I’m not 100% sure, but padel seems like a more vicious version of pickleball? |
| 98293352 | PATRIOT OF FAITH | See LONG LIVE THE REPUBLIC for my thoughts. |
| 98821021 | PEOPLE ARE WORRIED ABOUT THE TRANS FATS BUT NOT THE FAT TRANS | Another from the folks at Ghost Global LLC. In case you don’t already know how I lean on things like anti-trans sentiments: Fuck you, Ghost Global, you disgusting cringe assholes. May your pillows always be hot. |
| 98570254 | PICKLE BRAT | Who’s the bigger brat, the padel brat or the pickle brat? |
| 99446733 | SUNSHINE + SALTWATER | Two great ways to turn your hair brittle and crispy! |
| 99303863 | THE TIME IS MEOW! | Goods: t-shirts, tank tops, and … dating services?! |
| 98650235 | TOP GUNNER | Not related to the movie; owner is just some dude in Texas. |
| 98903878 | UNAPOLOGETICALLY | Adjectives seem so lonely without a noun. |
| 98752692 | VENTURE VIBES | I don’t know that I’ve ever had any kind of overwhelming vibes. |
| 98056865 | WALKING DISASTER | [I’m in this picture and I don’t like it meme] |
| 79429967 | WHAT THE PUG | Based on an international mark, so no specimen. |
| 98457218 | YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET | Time to listen to a little Bachman-Turner Overdrive. |
PART 1-B: NEW REGISTRATIONS (SUPPLEMENTAL REGISTER)
| 99414457 | GOD LOVES SLUTS | The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude. |
| 98591881 | I LOVE YOU AND I BELIEVE IN YOU | No idea why this one didn’t submit a substitute specimen when the first one was ornamental. |
| 99130345 | THE WORLD’S GRIPPIEST GRIP SOCKS | Correctly sent to supplemental, it’s so descriptive. |
PART 2: CANCELLED MARKS
(Standard disclaimer: Always double-check these words and phrases before using them in your designs, to make sure there isn’t a separate registration that is still live and active. Some marks have multiple registrations!)
| 88034862 | AGAINST ALL Y’ALL |
| 87839959 | ALCATRAZ KID |
| 86014980 | BEAT EVERYONE |
| 88116147 | BELIEVE IN HUMANS |
| 86349104 | BILLIONAIRE BOUND |
| 87814951 | CREEPYPASTA |
| 88202435 | DESIGNER DADDY |
| 88373683 | DON’T BE A LASHHOLE |
| 88411811 | EVERYONE COULD USE A FEW WAVES |
| 88416690 | EXTRA BUTTER |
| 86588003 | GANG OF ONE |
| 87875787 | I’M GOIN UP |
| 88131243 | IT’S JUST MENTAL |
| 88147071 | LET ME KNOW |
| 88419750 | LIFE IS RUGGED |
| 88315337 | LUCKY FRIENDS |
| 86571969 | MADE IN. |
| 88191970 | MIND YA BEES WAX *[removed from spreadsheet] |
| 88108239 | MOMLIFECRISIS |
| 88095072 | NEEDY ME NAP TIME |
| 88249646 | NURSE GANG |
| 88061400 | OH YES SHE DOES |
| 88095531 | ON MY OWN |
| 87748509 | POOFART |
| 88506570 | PUT DOWN THE GUNS PICK UP YOUR SONS |
| 87981883 | STAY HUMBLE. STAY HOPEFUL. |
| 88419467 | SUSTAINABLY HAPPY |
| 88201762 | SWEAT PRETTY |
| 88217835 | SWEET AND BOSSY |
| 88102799 | THE HIGH PRIESTESS |
| 86233246 | WEED 4 LIFE |
| 88417199 | WHAT IS YOUR PLEA? |
| 87546392 | WHY NOT? |
| 88018411 | YARN PUNK |
PART 3: ABANDONED APPLICATIONS! 🎉
Here are the applications that were abandoned this week in class 025, with mark drawing code 4. The most likely cause was the applicant not submitting corrected, updated, or informative material by the USPTO’s deadline. Ding, dong, these witches are dead! 🪦
| 99433310 | HEAVY MOTION |
| 99057555 | MATCHA MADNESS |
[sic] = A spelling, spacing, grammar, or punctuation error is part of the mark, not a typo from my butterfingers.
[removed from spreadsheet] = The cancelled item had been on my spreadsheet of marks, and has now been removed.
Note: This is a curated list, and may not include all marks that affect you or your business. All opinions expressed in the snark are my own. All snark is intended for entertainment purposes.
As always, the new marks have been added to my ginormous spreadsheet; please check it out for a shockingly large list of registered trademarks!
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