Here I thought that the weeks around Christmas would be quiet in the world of Trademarks, so I took last week off. But oh my goodness, the numbers for the past fortnight are really large! In the last two weeks in class 025, there were 1816 new trademarks registered, 1597 previously registered marks were cancelled, and 165 applications were abandoned before they made it across the finish line.

Note: The marks in part 1 are now fully registered and active! These lists are compiled from the Trademark Official Gazette, which publishes lists of the newest registered marks every week. (Some of these are legitimate brand names! I’ve included them on this list because those brand names are also words or phrases that may be used on the goods in question by crafters and makers.)

PART 1: NEW REGISTRATIONS (PRINCIPAL REGISTER)

& – Goods: shoes, socks. That’s right, just an ampersand. Registration also covers many types of knives in class 008.
100M
ALACRITOUS – adjective. Lively, quick, enthusiastic.
BAD BITCHES ONLY
BASS DADDY – Unclear if this is a fish reference, or a Johnny Cash reference, or what.
BEACH PLEASE – Goods: hats and caps.
BEST PLAYERS ON THE PLANET
BREAK AWAY FROM THE HERD – The people who bag on “the herd” or “sheeple” the most always seem like the most sheep-like herd members.
BULLIES AREN’T COOL – Truth!
CHILD SUPPORT BABY – Not exactly something I want to print on baby clothes…
CRUNCHY-ISH
DREAMERS ONLY
DUDE THAT LIFTS – Should this not be “dude WHO lifts”?
ENJOY THE TRIP
FASHIONABLE AND UNBOTHERED – This is only the 4th “unbothered” on the spreadsheet, but it feels like there have been so many more.
FRIES BEFORE GUYS – Oh jeez, this one is used on shirts all over the damn place.
FUCK A TRADEMARK – How I feel about FRIES BEFORE GUYS getting registered.
FUCK THE INTERNET – It’s how crappy trademarks get applied for these days, so yeah, this too.
GIRLS WHO MAKE – With the ® symbol all over the specimen, ugghhh.
GO FISH YOURSELF
GO NAVY – Owner: Department of the Navy.
HAPPY GIRL CLUB
HEY GANG
HUSTLE TRIBE – Ugh, the hustle. This tribe should have no members!
I SERVE A POWERFUL AND ALMIGHTY GOD
JESUS THE HEALER
JUST GET DIRTY
LET’S WINE ABOUT IT – Another one in heavy use on shirts, with a terrible bunch of specimens.
LIFT ME UP
LIVE FAST DIE NEVER – Goes right below “live fast die last” on the spreadsheet.
LIVE LIKE AN ANIMAL DIE LIKE A MAN – I can’t quite picture what the hell this means.
LIVE YOUR HEART
LIVIN, LOVIN, & BELIEVIN – I hate the dropped Gs, but I applaud the use of the Oxford comma.
LONELY HEARTS CLUB – Will they form a band?
LOUD MINORITY
MADE BY MOTHER – Slogan for dietary supplement gummies.
MAKE LIFE GOOD!
MAKE TODAY GREAT
MISERY DOESN’T LOVE COMPANY MISERY DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO LOVE MISERY NEEDS COMPANY TO POUR IT’S MISERY INTO
MOST USELESS SOBS IN AMERICA
MR FARTS – Not gonna lie, if this was MRS FARTS I’d probably want to wear it.
NOT THIS
ONLY GOD IS GREAT. – I beg to differ; there are a LOT of other great things out there.
PAPER OR PLASTIC – Do they even ask this anymore? Aren’t plastic bags on the outs almost everywhere?
PEDAGOGY – noun. The art, science, or profession of teaching.
PICKLEBALL SOCIETY
PRODUCTIVE DEGENERATE
ROSEBUD MOTEL – I think this is a Schitt’s Creek thing?
SAND AND WATER
SAWDUST IS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF GLITTER – Slogan of the GIRLS WHO MAKE.
SIC ‘EM – Owned by Baylor University.
SIGMA BOY – I believe “sigma” is good, while “skibidi” is bad? Maybe?
SLOW AF RUN CLUB – If I ever joined a running club, it would def be this one.
SPEED METAL – It’s a motor sports company, not the music genre.
SPLASH
STAY PUT
STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE
TERROR SQUAD – Not 100% sure, but I think this is the hip-hop group.
TEXAS NATIVE
THEN
TOGETHER WE STAND DIVIDED WE FALL
TOP COCK – This isn’t even a pun name for a chicken restaurant or anything. It’s just collegiate-font text on hats.
VOCIFEROUS – adjective. Loud, insistent, crying out loudly and repeatedly.
WAVES CRASHING
WAYFINDERS
WE NEED A CODE WORD – A podcast. But their website is gone, the Spotify link is dead, and they haven’t uploaded to YouTube in 7 months.
WEDDING WINGMAN – Owner: The Men’s Wearhouse.
YOU ARE SUNSHINE IN HUMAN FORM

PART 1-B: NEW REGISTRATIONS (SUPPLEMENTAL REGISTER)

35 total this fortnight; none felt like a common word/phrase of concern.

PART 1-C: OLDER REGISTERED MARKS I DISCOVERED THIS WEEK

BEER ARMY

PART 1-D: INTERESTING ILLUSTRATED MARK(S) OF THE WEEK

This illustrated text mark for MAMA IS MY BESTIE looks like it was really poorly traced from a low-res image someone found online. Yeesh, at least build it from typed fonts so that the lines are crisp and the corners are sharp! The owner is some individual in China.

PART 2: CANCELLED MARKS

(Standard disclaimer: Always double-check these words and phrases before using them in your designs, to make sure there isn’t a separate registration that is still live and active. Some marks have multiple registrations!)

#NOKIDS
110%
ACT LIKE A LADY THINK LIKE GOD
ADORABLY DEVIOUS
AMER I CAN
ASSTRUMPET – (The instrument played by MR FARTS)
AWAY
BEACHIN’ BABES
BELIEVE TRUST PEACE
BICYCLE DUMMY
BLESS ALL SINNERS
BOYS NEED TRAINING
BRONX NATIVE
BROW LIFE
CALLED TO THE GAME
CANOPY
CENTS EQUALS DOLLARS
CHEMO COZY
CLICKBAIT
COPACETIC
CRASH LIFE
DAIRY AIR DON’T CARE
DGAF
DIAPERLIFE
DINK THIS
FIRST MONDAY
FIT BABE
FLIP THE PUCK OUT
FLY DAD
FREEDOM HACKER
FUNNY SOCKS
GERM SEASON
GIRL GET OUTSIDE
GODLY CARTEL
GRANDMA’S LAP
HAPPINESS LOOKS GOOD ON YOU
HIT ‘EM WITH A HUG!
HIT THE RANGE
I AM ONLY TALENTED ON THURSDAY * [removed from spraedsheet]
I STAND WITH MY PACK
I’M GOOD PSALM 1
IT MAKES ME HAPPY
JUST SO YOU KNOW
KEEP AMERICA SMART!
KING OF THE SMOKER
KODIAK
LET’S GET SHAMROCKED * [removed from spreadsheet]
LET’S GOLF
LIFE BEGINS AT 13.1
LIFE BEGINS AT 26.2
LIFE IS GRAND
LIFE’S A RIDE. MAKE IT A GOOD ONE [sic]
LIFT OR DIE
LIL’ MISHAPS [sic]
LINDO
LIVE FREE BE YOU.
LIVE HUNT EAT
LIVE YOUR LOVE
LIVING A PHENOMENAL LIFE
LOVE YOUR SCARS * [removed from spreadsheet]
LOYAL AMERICANS
MAKE AMERICA SEXY AGAIN
MAKE PINBALL GREAT AGAIN
MAKE YOURSELF PROUD
MERMAIDS AND SAILORS
MOTIVATED HUSTLE
MR TECH
MY FUTURE MATTERS * [removed from spreadsheet]
NAVIGATE LIFE
NEVER AVERAGE
NO SLEEP JUST GRIND
NOWH3R3
OLD BANGER
OLIVE JUICE
PANDEMONIUM
PIE POLICE
PRECIOUS STAR
PROGRESS IS A PROCESS
QUIET
RAIN MOM
READY. SET. PUSH! * [removed from spreadsheet]
REAL CHICKS ROCK!
SAILING VIRGINS
SAVAGE LIFE
SEA SQUAD
SELF MADE BAD ASS [sic]
SELFI(SH)
SHOCKED
SKUNK DADDY
SKY QUEEN
SO DIVINE
SOCIALLY WASTED
SPARK HOPE
SPIRITUAL LIFE MATTERS
STRAIGHT OUTTA THE GARDEN
THESE ARE MY PLAY CLOTHES
THIS IS MY STORY
TIME TO BE GREAT
TREASONS GREETINGS
TUFF QUEER
VACATION THERAPY
WAY COOL DOGS
WE RUN THIS STATE
WHO’S A GOOD BABY? I’M A GOOD BABY!
WIN THE FIGHT
WINE IS MY PASSPORT * [removed from spreadsheet]
WORK BUDS
YOU’RE ONLY BORN ONCE
YOUNG LASS

PART 3: ABANDONED APPLICATIONS! 🎉

Here are the applications that were abandoned this week in class 025, with mark drawing code 4. The most likely cause was the applicant not submitting corrected, updated, or informative material by the USPTO’s deadline. Ding, dong, these witches are dead! 🪦

[sic] = A spelling, spacing, grammar, or punctuation error is part of the mark, not a typo from my butterfingers.
[removed from spreadsheet] = The cancelled item had been on my spreadsheet of marks, and has now been removed.

Note: This is a curated list, and may not include all marks that affect you or your business. All opinions expressed in the snark are my own. All snark is intended for entertainment purposes.

As always, the new marks have been added to my ginormous spreadsheet; please check it out for a shockingly large list of registered trademarks!

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